oh, the places I go

I always thought my family was kind of wonky...
There were just some things I would never tell anyone about my family's habits...until yesterday.

It was then when I visited my best friend's girlfriend's house, and their family quirks were put on display. I'd heard funny things from my friend...and I consider myself quite adaptable....but some things just have me rolling on the floor.

Her brother, J, had graciously made us dinner...(some salmon they had found while cleaning out the refrigerator) You see, the dad, Cliff, has kind of a habit when it comes to food. Come 5pm, you hear the grill being fired up. My best friend has never had so much BBQ in her life. He also keeps food...for a long time...In fact his most precious posession is his vaccuum packer. You know those vacuumed bags where you can't tell what the hell kind of food is in there? it looks like food from space. He vaccuum packs EVERYTHING. His kids joke around that they'll vaccuum pack HIM when he dies. He'd probably be happier that way.
But Cliff had gone on a long road trip with her sister (who apparently has an inordinate amount of lingerie. Subsequently, this is all she wears...even when there is NO ONE in 5 five mile radius to seduce.) anyway Cliff gone on road trip= ideal time to clean. and keep things clean.

Dinner was good, and they let me make brownies....

Just to let you know...J. isn't their brother. No, I don't know what he is...b ut according to him.
"I've lived in this house my whole life...except for when i lived next door."

I've made a mental note to figure this relationship out....becuase if my next door neighbors moved in and started cooking for me and sleeping naked....and...living there...I don't know what I would do.

J. is proud of his butt. I made some comment about how guys usually have skinnier butts than girls...and got this:

J.: My Butt is rock hard! One time my mom spanked my butt and her WHOLE HAND turned red! Here- spank my butt and feel how hard it is! One time, I couldn't get me shorts on because my fat, hard butt wouldn't give. When i finally got my shorts up, I was like "Yes!" and then the button poppedoff and like...out of the room.

He was wearing those shorts- still buttonless- when i was there.

And then we got set up to watch a movie (Hitchhiker's guys to the Galaxy- really loved it). We grabbed somee vanilla ice cream and the brownies I made and headed to the living room.
The cat was sitting in front of the couch. J. He snuck up to the couch and pulled the recliner lever- thus sending the cat flying across the living room. Ahh yes- flying cats.

I think I'll go back real soon...