Happy If...

Everybody wants something.

Material goods. Happier love life. Fewer problems.

It's ingrained into human nature to project a better future for themselves. Whether that future happens is up to the person, and the situations they are in.

It's easy to say- I want a Coke in 5 minutes...and then taking a break from work and getting one.

It's harder for other things.

I'm at a particularly difficult part of my life for wanting things.

My boyfriend always gets to the heart of things. Last night we were having a casual conversation about happiness. I found myself listing what would make me happy.

And it was the things that would put me at ease.
1. graduating (hopefully I'll pass that communication class)
2. not owing anyone money
3. getting a good job

Reality has hit me. Hard. And I'm worried. What am I going to do? I'm tired of not having money. Having holes in my shirts and knowing I can't go get new ones. Tired of being tired every day because I'm too ambitious for my own good.

On the bright side, I'm on track to having financial peace of mind
1. I'm graduating no matter what. I'll meet with my teacher soon.
2. I can pay the minimum on my credit card
3. I can still work at the Christmas store!

Is happiness peace of mind? What will I want if I don't have to worry about money and school anymore? Will I continue to want things? Will I put pressure on my friends and family?

If now is the time for working on anything, it's time to work on being happy with what I have (or don't have), and do the best I can.

Working on it...hard.

So if you see me and I look happy and carefree on the outside--

Just remember

I'm worried on the inside...and trying not to be.